i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
