if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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