Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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