dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
