guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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