I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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