i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
