Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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