So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
