btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's just like the Real World with babies
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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