I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
