OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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