i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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