Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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