i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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