He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
