I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
