I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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