Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
