the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
