Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
