We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
