That's intense
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
