i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
