How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
