They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
