I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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