Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize