It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
