Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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