i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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