just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
