Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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