dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
