will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
