This is not my ceiling
I CAN MOONWALK!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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