Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
