well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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