He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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