i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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