I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
