i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
