dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
