I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I pour the whiskey from now on
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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