After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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