i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
