To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
