Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
