Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
