If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Green mimosas i think yes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
