making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
