First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
