that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the condom got lost in my hair
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
