I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
