just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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