I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
