Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
