So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
