Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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