Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
