Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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