Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
