I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
