Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
